So I think I’ve finally figured something out over the last year or so. You know all those Evil Stepmoms from fairy tales?
I think they are greatly misunderstood.
I’ve finally figured out that as a step parent, nothing you ever do will be right or good enough.
So instead of trying to please mom/hubby/in-laws/the kids I’m just going to keeping instilling my morals/views/rules.
I’ve noticed lately that no matter who it is, my family, his family, man himself, random strangers, co-workers, my friends etc etc when i “attempt” to discipline stepson I always get the side eye (yes I see you all). Heck if Man is disciplineing B the kid still turns around and glares at me!
It really bothered me early on, I wanted to be the fun, awesome friendly step mom who he loved. But now I realize that it is more important to raise B with values and rules that will turn him into a good person then have him like me all the time , #BabyLogan won’t always like me, so just because I didn’t birth B doesn’t mean that should change.
And if that makes me evil? Bring.It.On.
Kids these days are far to coddled for their own good. They spend far to much time with technology. They are ill prepared for the real world. But that’s for another post. I’m just saying I want to raise both my boys without bumpers. And I will learn from my mistakes with B, and in doing that to prefect (Ha!) my system for #BabyLogan. That’s the bond that B and I have- he helps me be a better mom and I’ll forever love him and be greatful for him just for that reason alone. He is my little buddy-but he won’t always like me, he’s not supposed to. If he does that means I’m not doing my job. One day he will understand and thank me.
So to all you other folks out their with THE HARDEST job on the planet (cause step parenting is far harder then blood parenting) I salute you. Do what you gotta do. Give them rules, bedtimes, veggies eating requirements and limits on technology. You are the Queen ( or King) of your castle!
And once you put them down for bed -far earlier then their actual mommy because she lets me stay up late- come join me over in Team Evil-Stepmom. We’ll be learning how to make Poisoned Apples & Gingerbread Cages.
*EndNote: I am not saying B doesn’t have rules. Or that his parents don’t discipline or teach him. I am simply stating then when I do those things suddenly I’m the bad guy. And I will no longer be afraid too.